Recently, I got this mail. Initially, I thought it must be some informative piece of text. I started reading it and as I proceeded I couldn’t escape the thought that I should share it with everyone. By everyone I meant not only my friends but the whole world. So, here goes nothing.

oops! I mean everything!!

1. There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Rajnikant has allowed to live.
2. Outer space exists because it’s afraid to be on the same planet with Rajnikant.
3. Rajnikant counted to infinity – twice.
4. When Rajnikant does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
5. Rajnikant doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
6. Rajnikant gave Mona Lisa that smile.
7. There are no races, only countries of people Rajnikant has beaten to different shades of black and blue.
8. Rajnikant’s house has no doors, only walls that he walks through.
9. Rajnikant doesn’t actually write books, the words assemble themselves out of fear.
10. Newton’s Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Rajnikant turnaround kick.
11. For some, the left testicle is larger than the right one. For Rajnikant, each testicle is larger than the other one.
12. When taking the GRE, write “Rajnikant” for every answer. You will score over 1600.
13. Rajnikant invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
14. In the beginning there was nothing…then Rajnikant kicked that nothing in the face and said “Get a job”. That is the story of the universe.
15. Rajnikant has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.
16. Rajnikant grinds his coffee with his teeth and boils the water with his own rage.
17. Archeologists unearthed an old English dictionary dating back to the year 1236. It defined “victim” as “one who has encountered Rajnikant”
18. Rajnikant can drink an entire gallon of milk in thirty-seven seconds.
19. The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Rajnikant kicked one of the corners off.
20. There are no weapons of mass destruction in Iraq, Rajnikant lives in Chennai.
21. Rajnikant once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
22. James Cameron wanted Rajnikant to play the Terminator. However, upon eflection, he realized that would have turned his movie into a documentary, so he went with Arnold Schwarzenegger.
23. Thousands of years ago Rajnikant came across a bear. It was so terrified that it fled north into the arctic. It was also so terrified that all of its decedents now have white hair.
24. Rajnikant can delete the Recycle Bin.
25. Ghosts are actually caused by Rajnikant killing people faster than Death can process them.
26. Rajnikant can strangle you with a cordless phone.
27. Rajnikant can drown a fish.
28. When Rajnikant enters a room, he doesn’t turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.
29. When Rajnikant looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Rajnikant and Rajnikant.
30. Rajnikant does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.
31. Bullets dodge Rajnikant.
32. A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Rajnikant and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
33. Rajnikant’s calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Rajnikant.
34. If you spell Rajnikant wrong on Google it doesn’t say, “Did you mean Rajnikant?” It simply replies, “Run while you still have the chance.”
35. Rajnikant can do a wheelie on a unicycle.
36. Once a cobra bit Rajnikant’ leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.
37. When Rajnikant gives you the finger, he’s telling you how many seconds you have left to live.
38. Rajnikant can kill two stones with one bird.
39. Rajnikant was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.
40. Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Rajnikant can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants.
41. There is no such thing as global warming. Rajnikant was cold, so he turned the sun up.
42. Rajnikant can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.
43. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Rajnikant could use to kill you, including the room itself.
44. Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Rajnikant.
45. Rajnikant got his drivers license at the age of 16 Seconds.
46. With the rising cost of gasoline, Rajnikant is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.
47. The square root of Rajnikant is pain. Do not try to square Rajnikant, the result is death.
48. When you say “no one’s perfect”, Rajnikant takes this as a personal insult !!!

Note: Everything here is in Good humor. Nothing against Mr. Rajnikant and his Fans.

Tags: bermuda, funny, humor, mail, rajnikant

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2 Comments Posted by DigitAlley